“There comes a point in our lives when the heart grows tired. It grows numb from hate, it stops beating for love. It runs out of compassion. It doesn’t soften from pain, not because of insensitivity, but because it simply wants to move on and live an UNCOMPLICATED life”
Right now. I just don’t want to think about anything. Nothing happens when I think about things anyway. It doesn’t help, it only makes my head hurt. Again, there’s soo much inside of me and I find no means of letting it out. I just want to drive somewhere, with no final destination really and just drive and drive and drive (if only gas prices aren’t as high as it is right now and if only money ain’t a big deal for me), but that’s not the case.
Work
I’m enjoying my work right now, and whenever I don’t I just pause and try to convince myself that I am. This is one of those thoughts that’s been bugging me these past days. I can’t believe I’m worrying about my future. I just want to live my day… as it is… Theres so much I want to do and need to do but then I don’t do it. I want to go back to school… to either study again or to teach (though I’m bad at it). I want to go places … travel… is this called quarterlife crisis already? I have no idea. It sucks whenever you thought that you have everything all figured out but then later on you’ll find out that you don’t have the slightest idea why you’re doing this and why you’re even there.
Love
I’m enjoying the company of my friends and those people I met at work. They’re nice and not difficult to get along with. They actually make life easier as it is right now. If they’re not as they are right now .. I would have said sayonara a long time ago. I’m enjoying the company of people whom I can just be me without having to pretend I’m somebody else, without having to worry about them meeting other people and all the other drama I get to experience whenever I’m romantically attached to somebody. I get to think about something and tell them that and then not care whether they think of me in a bad way or something. It doesn’t even matter to me now if they understand me or not. It’s cool cos I get to be spontaneous and say something and think of something and do that and they even go to those places with me, without buts… without whys.
Family
It’s always been the same. Im used to it. They’re different from everybody else, they’re annoying but special. Weird … I know…
Me
I just don’t care anymore… actually I do… I just don’t want to care … anymore… I’m just doing what I want to do and if it concerns you, then you can talk to me, but if it doesn’t then we have nothing to talk about.
Lastly, WHAT THE HELL?
